Pushing A Little Too Hard

So, I tried to step up to the 20 pound dumbbells. And, had I stopped and went back to the 15 pound weights after the first set – like I’d planned to do – it would probably have worked out. But I got overambitious and tried the second set as well.

Mistake, that.

No, it’s not too bad. I was smart enough to stop before I actually hurt myself. But, wow. I had to stop before I did do myself an injury.

So, tomorrow, I’ll try one set at 20 lbs and two at 15 pounds. Maybe if I stop when I should, it’ll work better.

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A Reminder To Myself

Don’t eat the donuts at work.

If you must eat the donuts at work, only eat one.

If you eat more than one, don’t take that as an excuse to declare failure on your calorie budget and gorge yourself.

All right, so gorging myself is a bit hyperbolic. I mean, 380 calories over budget is still over budget, but it’s not obscenely over budget. It’s annoyingly over budget. But, to be perfectly honest, it was still better than I did over the holidays. Improvement is happening!

The greater struggle right now is my ongoing effort to remind myself that the reason I’m not exercising right now is because I spent the weekend laid up with a head cold. I need to make sure I’m recovered. But my brain is all like “you feel fine! Stop being lazy! Go work out!”

My brain hates me and wants me to suffer and die, I guess. Part of it, anyway.

So, the reminders to myself are:

  1. Don’t eat the donuts at work. Or, at least, don’t eat more than one.
  2. Rest and recover from being sick before exercising. Not wanting to relapse Ian being lazy.

Sounds like a good list to me.

Yeek!

Always, always, always check the calorie count before eating.

It was my wife’s birthday yesterday (happy birthday!), and she wanted to go out for dinner.  So, after some discussion, we ended up at Carrabba’s Italian Grill – she wanted Italian food, and it was close.  Sadly, we weren’t particularly enthused by the meal.  The service was good, but the food was lacking – “greasy” was the word I used, while my wife described it as “bland” and my son described it as “can we go to IHOP?”

I figured it would be a bit of a hit on the old calorie budget when I ordered, but… well, I got something called Fettuccine Weese, which is fettuccine in alfredo sauce with shrimp and mushrooms.  Alfredo sauce is harsh on the calories, yes, but I like it.  Sadly, I didn’t check the calorie cost until after I ate.

1,350.

Let that sink in.

Maybe I would have been all right with that if I’d liked the food, but I didn’t.  Oh, it tasted all right (except for an odd oily aftertaste), but it did not like me back.  I had a roiling stomach for a good few hours after dinner, and kept belching up garlic and shrimp.  Not the sort of result I want from my food.

On the up side, I walked 5.89 miles yesterday!  Not enough to take care of that fettuccine, I suspect, but more than enough to hit my walking goal!

Maybe I Was A Touch Premature…

Remember how pleased I was with myself yesterday, for managing to hit a short streak in my walking and calorie budget goals?  Yeah, well, uhm.  See.  I didn’t hit either one.  Things came up at work, and then I had to run by the grocery store, and there were Cadbury Creme Eggs for sale.  And, well, I sort of ate some.  Three of them.

Well, maybe I do.  A little.  But I really do love those creme eggs.

Still, I’m not beaten!  One off day is not the end of the world, after all.  So today, I’ll just be back on task and back on track.  After all, I don’t have any reason to go to the grocery store today.

What a terrible mistake

I significantly overate yesterday, a side-effect of going out to lunch with my family (my son chose Frisch’s for the breakfast bar…) and then going out to buy a dishwasher after work.  Oddly enough, though, the mistake I’m referring to is not overeating.  Not directly, anyway.

So what am I talking about?

As I indicated, I significantly overate.  The fact that I got off to a bad start in my day seemed to combine with the knowledge that I’d had a buffet for lunch to wreck my calorie goals entirely.  And then I used that as an excuse to eat even more.  And some combination of what I was eating and how much of it I ate combined to make me feel physically ill – tired and queasy and generally under the weather.  It was a terrible feeling, and one I’d forgotten that could happen from significantly overeating.

I’m feeling better now, fortunately.  But, wow.  Must avoid doing that in the future, and not just because it blows the old calorie budget out of the water.

Weird, Anxiety-laden Dreams

Overall, I have no complaints about my weight loss. I feel better, I have more energy, and my wife says I look better.  What’s not to like?  But, apparently, I still worry. Sometimes that I’m not losing fast enough, and sometimes that I’m losing too fast, and sometimes both of those at the same time.

Case in point. I had this dream, a couple of nights ago.  In this dream, I happened to take a good, hard look at myself in the mirror and discovered that I’d lost all my weight.  And as a result, my skin was loose and saggy and hanging in folds.  Shar pei dog folds.

sharpei2DobramilFuChousideLike this.

It was an unpleasant sort of dream.  The kind where, after you wake up, you find yourself having to check and see if it’s true.  The kind of dream that stays with you, and makes you think far more than you really should about things.

Here’s the thing.  I know I’m losing weight at a healthy (if, at the moment, somewhat frustrating) rate.  My doctor has fully endorsed my weight loss program and the rate the weight is coming off.  But I still worry.  I’ve been fat for so long that I can’t quite wrap my head around getting thin, and I find myself worrying that something will go wrong.  I’ll gain it back, or I’ll have the skin coverage of a 419 pound man on a 219 pound frame, or I’ll be so obsessed with weight loss that I won’t stop and I’ll suffer from anorexia.

Yeah, men have body issues too.  We just don’t talk about them as much.

Maybe we should.

Food Day

Wow. That could have gone better. It could also have gone a lot worse. Let me explain.

We had a “food day”, which if you’ve never had one is where everyone in the office brings in food and you have a pot luck. It’s pretty much what it sounds like, right?

Here’s the problem:  the food was right by my desk. I mean right by – I even had to move the table with the food closer to my desk. (We needed an outlet, and the only usable one was near my desk, and we didn’t have an extension cord…)

The down side, as a result, was that I grazed. A lot. Hey, everything was tasty!  But, on the up side, I think I might still come in on budget for my calorie count. I had to make a good-faith estimate, since nothing had a nutrition label, but I believe I made a realistic estimate.

Dinner may be pretty light, though…