Actually, I Feel Better Now

Yeah, I know.  I got a little ranty, yesterday.  Is “ranty” a word?  Well, it is now.  It is now a word, and it is a word that well describes my mood from yesterday.  “Frustrated” would be another good word, but “ranty” works.  I think I’m over it now, though.  Why?  A couple of reasons.

First reason:  my amazing wife, who reminded me once again (because I really need the reminding right now) that this is a process, not a race.  And that there’s no shame in being busy, and in “only” maintaining a 115 pound weight loss.  Because there’s no “only” about that.  Also, she reminded me that she loves me no matter what weight I’m at, and that made me all happy and damnit I’m not getting a little teary!  It’s just some… some grit!  Yeah, that’s it!  Grit!

Seriously, though, she’s an amazing woman.

Second reason:  I believe I mentioned a couple of months back that I’m in a competition of sorts with a friend of mine.  He doesn’t have as far to go, but we support each other in an adversarially-friendly way that actually works pretty well and that only doesn’t end in blood because we are good friends.  Well, he texted me after reading my post and let me know he’s having a little bit of a struggle as well.  And that was nice.  Not that he’s having trouble, mind, but that he took the time to remind me that I’m not the only one having trouble.

I’ve got great family and friends, and they’re a huge chunk of why I’m still trying.  Damn, but I’m a lucky man.


*Inarticulate Sound of Rage*

I’m trying to remind myself that, for various reasons, I only hit my calorie goals three out of six days last week.  And that, for various reasons, I only managed to get in three days of exercise, and only hit my walking goals once.  Because I know that hitting those goals is essential to losing weight.  But it is frustrating to see no progress yet again.

All right.  Pity party over.  Let’s look at the good things.



I didn’t gain a whole lot.  Once again, I’m maintaining.

You know what?  It’s not making me feel any better.  So I’ll stop now, and try to be in a better mood tomorrow.

How did I manage that?

I genuinely didn’t think I was going to get my exercises in yesterday.  I was feeling lazy, and just didn’t want to do anything at all.  It was the kind of day where making meatballs felt like a chore, and where building up the motivation to boil pasta and heat up a jar of spaghetti sauce felt like an accomplishment.  I wasn’t sick or anything of the sort.  Just… lazy.

My lazy day progressed, and I got my son to bed.  Then I sat there in my quiet condo, pretty much by myself (my amazing wife was out late) and contemplating playing a video game.  Then, without any conscious intent, I grabbed my dumbbells and started exercising.  Half an hour later, I was finished.

I’m still not sure what got me to work out.  Like I said, I had no intention of doing so.  Heck, I kept wondering to myself why I was exercising while I was exercising.  But I did it anyway, and now that it’s over I’m glad that I did.

Strange feeling, though.

Things To Do With Leftover Ham

Yeah, I’m eating some of my leftover Christmas ham.  Why not?  I separated it into bags three days after Christmas and put it in the freezer, and now I can pull out ham and eat it.  It makes a good, quick meal.

For the meal I’m talking about in particular, I made a ham and cheese wrap.  Said wrap consists of:  6 ounces of spiral-sliced ham (320 calories), 1 1/2 ounces of Swiss cheese (162 calories), a flour tortilla (145 calories), and lettuce and tomato and a little mayonnaise.  So I’m staring at a 627 calorie sandwich wrap the size of a Chipotle burrito, only it’s about half the calories and it doesn’t wallow in that company’s anti-science fear-mongering (note to self:  must now sadly boycott Chipotle).

Oh, I also hit my calorie and my walking goals yesterday!  All of the unseasonable warmth, which sadly but thankfully seems to have gone away today, let me get out and knock out a mile after my son went to bed.  It felt pretty good, to tell the truth.

Quality Time

My son and I get home yesterday, and we’re going through our normal routine.  Get the dog out, do his homework, that kind of stuff.  Afterwards, he asks me if I’ll play with him.  “Not yet,” I say.  “I’ve got to do my exercises first.”  He nods at that, because it’s something he knows that I do.  So I go back in my bedroom and change into my sweats, and he grabs some of his Legos and sits on the couch and starts playing.  Then, as I’m pulling on my t-shirt, he knocks on the door and comes in.  “I’m going to play back here, so you don’t have to be alone.”

I don’t mind telling you I melted.  Just a little.  But then, he starts getting interested in what I’m doing.  “Are you going to do push-ups?”

“Yes,” I tell him.

“Are you going to do backwards push-ups?”

“…I don’t know what those are, son.”  So he demonstrates by lying flat on his back, bracing his hands on the ground, and using his arms to lift his back and shoulders off the ground.  Honestly, it looks like a legitimate exercise.  Then he helped me count repetitions, and asked me if he could help put my weights (10 pound hand weights) away, and generally hung around and did things with me.

Yeah.  It was a good day.

Stumbling Out Of The Gate

…or, maybe, I’ll start hitting my goals beginning today.

As you may have guessed from the title, and from that last sentence, yesterday was not a particularly productive day.  Little things snowballed, and snowballed, and snowballed.  For various reasons, some good and some not so good, I didn’t get a chance to do any walking at work.  Specifically, I missed walking on my first break thanks to some project work I was doing.  From there, it was really easy to justify not walking further by saying “well, I’m not hitting goal anyway…”

And yes, I know that’s a terrible excuse.  But, well, it’s what I did.  Then I didn’t do my exercises because I had to go pick up groceries.  And because there were some things my son needed help with.  And I made the mistake of snacking outside of my regular meals, so I didn’t hit my calorie goals.  All in all, not a productive day.

What did I learn from this?  First of all, don’t give up on your goals for the day because you missed one part of them.  Second, plan better.  Third, don’t go snacking hard.  Especially on high-calorie junk (duh, right?).  And fourth, don’t beat yourself up.  Just keep trying.

I think lesson four is the hardest to accept, oddly enough.

Starting To Make A Little Progress Again

Clearly, last week paid off.  I’m down 1.8 lbs from my last recorded weigh-in, which is pretty good!  I chalk it up to hitting my calorie budget, to (mostly) hitting my exercise goals, and to making sure to walk even when I didn’t hit my full distance goal.  It’s nice to feel like I’m getting back on track, you know?

It’s still unseasonably warm here – like, in the low fifties (Fahrenheit) – so I took advantage of that yesterday to go to the park with my wife and son and some of our friends.  For a good two hours I followed around a six year old who thinks he’s sixteen, keeping up with him as he ran and jumped and ran and climbed and rolled.  And then we went Pokemon hunting.  A good time was had by all, and I barely felt the need to sit down the whole time.  So, yeah.  Signs of progress, right?  A year and a half ago, I’d have been dying.

And now, time to pick up the pace.  I intend to hit my walking goals every day this week, along with my exercise goals.  I’m feeling good about myself, and I need to keep this up!