Everything Is Connected

I didn’t hit my exercise goals yesterday, but that’s okay.  Why?  Because I was doing something much more important.  I was talking to my wife.

See, we have plans.  Goals.  Things we want to do as a family.  And we generally agree on those goals and plans and things, but sometimes we get off track.  When we get off track, this creates stress.  And neither one of us deals with stress well, although I’m better at pretending the stress doesn’t get to me – mostly by ignoring things.  But it still gets up on me, and leads to behavior like overeating and failing to exercise and then blaming other people for my woes.  Juvenile, immature sorts of behavior is what I’m saying.

So we called a family meeting… no, wait.  Let me correct that.  My wife called the family meeting, because she’s far better at spotting when we’re getting off course.  I agreed, because I recognize that she’s better at spotting this sort of thing (see “ignoring things” up above…).  We sat down and went back through our family goals, and we talked about what was important to us as a couple and as a family, and what we needed from each other to succeed personally and as a couple and as a family.

If you’ve never had a conversation like this with your significant other, I recommend that you do.  If you have had a conversation like this – a real conversation, that is, not bickering and shouting and “he said she said” – then you know it takes a while.  It’s utterly worth it, but it takes time and energy to do it right.  By the time we were done, I was too tired to exercise.

Despite that, I feel energized and refreshed and ready to really work hard.  Because we have a much clearer vision of where we’re trying to go and we’re now working on a plan to get there.  It’s not finished, not by a long shot, but stress I hadn’t acknowledged I was feeling has melted away and been replaced by a new sense of purpose.  My exercise and weight loss was nowhere in the conversation, but I’m even feeling refreshed on that goal.

Here’s to my wife, for being smart enough to spot the root causes of multiple issues we’ve been having, and for being stubborn enough and loving enough to keep trying to get through to me that we need to do something about it.  I couldn’t do any of this without her, and I wouldn’t want to.

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