Overall, I have no complaints about my weight loss. I feel better, I have more energy, and my wife says I look better. What’s not to like? But, apparently, I still worry. Sometimes that I’m not losing fast enough, and sometimes that I’m losing too fast, and sometimes both of those at the same time.
Case in point. I had this dream, a couple of nights ago. In this dream, I happened to take a good, hard look at myself in the mirror and discovered that I’d lost all my weight. And as a result, my skin was loose and saggy and hanging in folds. Shar pei dog folds.
It was an unpleasant sort of dream. The kind where, after you wake up, you find yourself having to check and see if it’s true. The kind of dream that stays with you, and makes you think far more than you really should about things.
Here’s the thing. I know I’m losing weight at a healthy (if, at the moment, somewhat frustrating) rate. My doctor has fully endorsed my weight loss program and the rate the weight is coming off. But I still worry. I’ve been fat for so long that I can’t quite wrap my head around getting thin, and I find myself worrying that something will go wrong. I’ll gain it back, or I’ll have the skin coverage of a 419 pound man on a 219 pound frame, or I’ll be so obsessed with weight loss that I won’t stop and I’ll suffer from anorexia.
Yeah, men have body issues too. We just don’t talk about them as much.
Maybe we should.