Having reread that last entry, it makes me sound a whole lot more grim and hopeless about my goals than I actually am. I mean, yeah. I told the truth about not really believing I can do this. But that’s not the whole story. See, I’m really not looking at that 218 lb goal as what I’m trying to do. What I’m trying to do is all based on today. I’m walking four to five miles today. I’m climbing ten flights of stairs today. I’m eating no more than 2,400 calories today. Let the future take care of itself.
And it’s actually quite a bit of fun. Let me tell you a story to illustrate this.
One of the things I do to get in some extra exercise is walk to pick up my son from daycare. We live about a quarter of a mile from his daycare, if I take the shortest route, so that gets me at least a half mile of walking. Usually more, because I’ve been letting him choose the route we walk home on, and four-year-olds rarely choose the most direct of paths.
So, we’re walking home. And he’s got his Batman car, because he got to take it to his daycare for show and tell. And he’s pausing every few feet to try to get it to roll down a slope. And we end up walking everywhere. Down a hill by his school, to go play with his car in a (dry) storm drain that had a long ramp. Up two small flights of stairs, so he could laugh and laugh as he tried to roll his car down the stairs. Down another hill behind our condo building, so he could race Batman down the sidewalk. And then we found sticks, and played at swordfighting for a while (shhh… don’t tell my wife…). And then we finally made it home.
That “half-mile walk” took me 40 minutes and 1.10 miles, and I loved every minute of it. But it hit me that, two months ago, I’d never have managed that walk. I’d never have been able to have that experience with my son. My legs would have given out halfway through, and I’d have had to make him go home.
You’ll probably read me complaining about things, from time to time. Because my legs do hurt, and I still don’t really believe I’ll succeed. But, I also don’t care if I succeed or not. All I really care about is moments like that.